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About Galway

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I head back to the shop, still chucklin’. But then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s at the pub on Station Road, and he’s got a wild idea. “Let’s do a pub crawl!” he says. I’m thinkin’, “Why not? I could use a pint.” So, I lock up the shop and off I go.

Death Notice of Leon Obiedzinski (Ballincollig, Cork)